I have the day off (glorious! although it occurs to me that I don't really mind being at work-- usually, minus some small complaints... I'm a lucky lady. yet! oh, and yet....)so i thought, hey Rayray (I wish i had cute pet names for myself. rayray, conveys an easy familiarity... I am not that comfortable with myself. we're working on it) two asides and I haven't finished my thought! lordy!
I have the day off and I thought to myself, rachel (not ms. lagomarsino... feelin silly), what's new? Ah, nothing. Back where I've been before. Not necessarily regressing, growing, evolving, whateves, but still, same old same old. IDONTWANTTHEYEARSTOBLENDTGETHER. I was telling my good friend, Hannah Barnes (lovely lady. A real lady. depth of character, etc)last night that I feel my youth is passing me by. That's ridiculous. I'm so young. Well, it is passing me by, but not at the accelerated rate I imagine it. I imagine everything at an accelerated rate. Probably why I have such anxiety whenever I hear/read about whatever catastrophe is looming. Ah, neurosis... did you know that "peccadilloes" is not spelled picadillos, which apparently are the more delicious of the two...
I have little to say. I had all of these plans to relax, etc today, but I feel wound up and fussy. Just being home is nice, I suppose. My dog, whom I take for granted, follows me around, breathing heavily, a reminder that he's there. I love him very much. is that what we do? Take these things for granted?
People are getting married, having kids... it's beautiful. I'm not ready for that, but it's gorgeous. My friend brad was buying diapers for his son yesterday and said that having a son was awesome... broke my heart. It's beautiful.
It'll be good... it is good. As I wrote this I got a text message picture from my mama of my cousin Allan in cap and gown for his college graduation. I am so lucky that I have a big family. It makes the holidays pretty neat. Allan is the youngest and he's a college graduate! How appropriate. Well, hammering this out and thinking about my friends and family has made me feel less wound up, fussy, and apocalyptic. Thank you for being here. Oh blogger! You always are. Wink!
We have limited time, limited time in this reality... the universe is a mystery. Do you wonder about your perceptions being altered? What if I was blind... so much more frustrated with my glasses off... what if I lost any sense, any limb, what about when my mind begins to betray me (either getting old or going crazy or both)... what about when we all cease to exist? What if what if what if? I am going to watch the sex and the city movie. cause I feel like it. what does that say about the state of things? eh?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
What a brilliant day. If I were feeling like you, I would have a beer and read some Poe, Frost, or Nietzsche. You know, I am kind of feeling like you described, I am going to take my own advice. First Kilt Lifter, and then a little Beyond good and evil.
ReplyDelete